The Nostalgia Cycle

I've been trapped in a cycle over the past few years which has caused me to persistently yearn for years gone by. Last year doesn't seem so bad, now, but at the time it felt like total crap. Sixth grade seems, in retrospect, to have been one helluva good time, but I can vaguely remember thinking "this sucks" more than once.

I've been thinking about why, and here are some possible explanations:

1. Over time, my brain is filtering out unhappy memories of the past.
2. I'm doing something that's screwing with my emotions.
3. My life is in a downward spiral of miasmic depression (pain, pain, pain- why take you my soul?)

I don't have any strong unhappy memories that are single events, but I do remember having a generally negative outlook on life. I don't know why my brain would filter that out, though, and if it did, it didn't do a very good job- I remember having the emotion, I just don't feel it when I think about the past.

I hope it's not the second explanation. If it was, it would mean that something escalating in my life is causing my feeling of happiness to generally decline. The only thing I can think of that's growing in my life at a constant rate is my knowledge and experience. I suppose that would make sense, though- the more I know and understand, the more I see how stupid people really are, and that is somewhat depressing (though that depression is mostly counter-balanced by my view of the world's potential). I've known that people are idiots for a while now, though, so I don't see why that would give me any nostalgia.

Which leads me to the third option. I really hope I haven't peaked yet, and I don't think I have. But if it turns out that this one was right, I give you permission to kick me in the face when my spiral of depression leads me to emoism.